we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Randomize
