The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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