Kareoke will never be a sober sport
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
