Pants 0. Shit 1.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
the raccoons are back...
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