Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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