I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
wanna go halves on a baby?
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
