This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
