Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
