yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
