I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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