Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
