Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
