so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
The best revenge is premature balding
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
