The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
