I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
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