i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
