I'm drive I can fine osifer
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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