Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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