Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
how does that bad decision feel?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
