guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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