I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
