tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Mom said you looked used
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Drake has all the answers
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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