the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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