Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
