these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
