i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
