Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
