Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
