everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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