i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
