I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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