dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
