If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
