this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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