ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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