We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
