We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
