I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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