chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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