just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Randomize
