his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
