yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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