You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
