Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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