worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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