rhymes with "ouble enetration"
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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