Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
