Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
