when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
The struggles of a small town man whore
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize
