1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
