Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
