You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Randomize
